Sometimes I just need to admit and accept that things aren't going smoothly, and then it all gets better. The mud settles, the sunshine returns and I can be in my own skin again. Thank you for your comments. They mean a lot to me.
Speaking of sunshine, here is a picture of Henry on our back patio. I let him play there in the sun for a half hour last week and he babbled and basked while the birds sang. Baby chirping and bird chirping are the two greatest sounds. (Sidenote: did you know that sunshine makes babies sneeze? Every time the sun hits him in the face, he sneezes. Other babies do this, too. I wonder why.)
While he played, I got some time to explore the bulbs and perennials popping up in the yard. Things look much like the first day of spring from last year. I know, that's not profound, but spring does feel like a little miracle every year. Bulbs and perennials are little miracles, too. I look forward to them all winter long, and then they pop out of the ground before I'm ready to put away my winter coat. They look so green and vulnerable, but they are also so brave to come up before all of the snow is gone. Truly amazing.
I'm definitely feeling better because I want to quote my favorite words from e. e. cummings, "spring when the world is mudluscious" and "puddlewonderful".